Calling the Madness

Being a hopeful future broadcaster, the way a game is being called is sometimes just as important to me as the game itself. This March, I've found myself yelling at the TV much more than ever. Now I don't claim to know everything there is to know about the tournament, but the stupidity of some people announcing the games is really incomprehensible. This weekend, there were four different crews announcing at the four different regional sites. Here's my analysis.

Jim Nantz and Billy Packer- South Regional
This crew is CBS's number 1 crew, and they'll be in San Antonio for the Final Four. I have a few problems with this crew. First of all, Jim Nantz calls March Madness games like he's at Augusta calling a putt at the 13th hole by Notah Begay III. Cmon Jim, show some life... These are the biggest three weekends in all of sports. Billy Packer is probably the most knowledgeable of the analysts but is by far the most aggravating. In the Texas-Memphis game he said something to the effect of "Rick Barnes needs to get a team out there that has a clue how to handle this Memphis team." He is overly critical of any mistake any player makes. He needs to realize that these players are just college kids, and reminds me of an older, even more crotchety Coach Hock. All in all, though, if you're looking for a straightforward broadcast, and can handle Packer's negativity, this is a good crew.

Verne Lundquist and Bill Raftery- West Regional
I'm a huge fan of Raftery's. It's always good to know that, off the tip, "UCLA is lining up... INTHEMANTAMAN!" By far the most energetic of the analysts, I would watch anything called by Raftery. I like him even better when he's doing Big East Basketball with Sean McDonough. Listen to Raftery after this dunk to see why he's the best. On the downside, with both Raftery and Lundquist being over 60, they occasionally have trouble seeing what is going on. Lundquist is a lot like Nantz in that he rarely gets excited, but he plays well off Raftery and makes for an enjoyable broadcast.

Gus Johnson and Len Elmore- Midwest Regional
By far, my favorite announcer in the entire world is Gus Johnson. He could make shaving interesting. In fact, I would pay a very large sum of money to have him narrate my life. He also does Knicks games on MSG, which is really a waste of his talent, because, in all honesty, I would rather watch someone shave than watch a Knicks game. There's honestly nothing I can say about him other than leave you clips of his fine, fine work. There was no one better than Gus to call Stephen Curry's lights out game in the Sweet 16. Here's Gus at his finest.
And a little bit of Gus doin the Knickerbockers.

Dick Enberg and Jay Bilas- East Region
Awful, just awful. How Dick Enberg has a job broadcasting sports is absolutely pathetic. He incorrectly called four consecutive possessions in the Louisville-UNC game. What's worse is that, after he makes a mistake, he refuses to correct himself. I don't know whether it's because he's too stubborn, or he honestly doesn't realize it. I think Hansbrough got called for 8 fouls in that game, and each team took 11 timeouts. But it's really a bad job by CBS to have him doing regional final games. I hadn't heard this much of him since he was the announcer for NFL Gameday 98, and that game was awful, too. That game pissed me off so much because if you tried to throw to your running back in the flat, the throw went right into the ground. Not only that, any field goal from within 60 yards was almost always good. Man, that pissed me off. At least I had that game longer than I had Head Coach, which I returned within 24 hours. The worst part was that the same person who rang me up when I bought the game was there the next day when I went to return it, which was quite embarrassing. And since it was out of the original packaging, I only got half price. Man, that was a bad investment.

Speaking of announcers, I'm launching an official online campaign to get the term, "quick blow", removed from all basketball telecasts. As in, "Quentin Thomas comes in to give Ty Lawson a quick blow." That has to stop. Granted, I notice any and all sexual innuendo in conversations, but this is out of control. You're telling me that there's no one who has figured out what this could possibly mean??

Moving on to the actual games, imagine this. This is the first time all four #1 seeds have advanced to the Final Four. It's kind of surprising that that's never happened. If there was going to be a year where it would happen, though, this was the year. On Selection Sunday, there was no question who the top 4 teams in the country were, and all four of them were easily much stronger than anyone else. That being said, I thought there was no way Memphis had a shot to beat Texas. I mean, what are the odds they all of a sudden decide to go 30-36 from the line.

After seeing the excitement of the first two days of the tournament this year, I'm making a bold prediction. In the next 10 years, a #1 seed will fall to a #16. It's never been done, but I will take bets from anyone that this will happen. The overall talent in the college game is more vast than it ever has been. And maybe if Quinnipiac can ever win the juggernaut conference that is the NEC, we can be the one to do it.

What can you say about Stephen Curry. The first shocker was that he goes with the STEH-fin pronunciation. Good choice I think, because if he wasn't going to go with the way it's spelled, going with Ste-PHON would have resulted in a Starbury tirade. I can't remember anyone being as hot as Curry was for 3 and a half games. He singlehandedly lead his team to the Elite 8, and was one shot away from San Antonio. Was there any doubt going into this weekend that he would have at least one more 30 pt game?

On the flipside, most disappointing honors goes to Roy Hibbert. I don't get it. He's 7'2", but plays softer than anyone his size in the nation. For the second year in a row, I picked the Hoyas to go the Final Four, and again he let me down. In his two tournament games, Big Roy played a combined 32 minutes, less than a full game. The more I watch him, the more I compare his performance in big games to the game Andrew Bynum had against East Brunswick in 2004. He towers over everyone on the court, looks stronger than everyone on the court, but doesn't play like any of this is true. Needless to say, Bynum has more than proved he belongs in the Association, but I'm definitely not sold on Hibbert. His inability to stay out of foul trouble should be a real concern for all NBA teams, and, regardless of his size, I'd have a hard time picking him in the first round this June.

The worst uniforms in the tournament are, by far, those of the Oregon Ducks. Keep in mind that the names on the back were printed in black, and hardly able to see. They have always been a joke when it comes to their unis. It's unbelievable how bad they are. But my favorite name of the tournament comes to us from Norman, Oklahoma, where the starting center for the Sooners is none other than Longar Longar, who hopefully one day can be drafted by me in the last round of a fantasy basketball draft with the likes of Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje.

I lost two of my final four teams in Georgetown and Texas, but my championship game of UCLA and UNC still remains. I still like the UCLA's strong, suffocating defense to keep Hansbrough and Co. in check, and I like UCLA in a classic, 71-69.

Non-Tournament Related News
The real opening day of the baseball season is tomorrow at 1 o'clock. Just like it should be... Ryan Zimmerman hits the first walk-off HR of the season tonight in the Nats opener against the Braves, what will turn out to be the high point in the Nats season... The Western Conference of the NBA continues to beat up on each other, where there are 5 teams within 1.5 games of the top spot, not counting the Jazz, who is the 4 seed but remain 3 games back of the Hornets. Then we have a 3-way tie for 7th place, which means it is very likely a team in the West will win 50 games and miss the playoffs, while in the East a team with 35 wins could make the playoffs. I hate the NBA... As Facebook continues to take over the world, my least favorite development has been the "People You May Know" section on the right of the main page. I don't need Facebook to tell me who I do and don't know. Dirty bastards... In Beat the Streak news, Papi's 0-fer against the A's in the second Japan game set me back to zero, but Chipper's home run Sunday night puts me back on the road to 57 in a row, and 1 million dollars in my pocket. Let the dream live on.